Occasional days only

[angeldelight]

Hi Everyone,

I told you all recently that the baby I care for was leaving for a short while because his mom is changing her job to go to chef school?!

You have helped me a lot with advice in the past so thought I would ask about this new problem see if anyone has any ideas or tips for me

The mom has yet to get her place at college therefore is not sure when she is coming back I recently asked you all about the retainer fee !

She told me yesterday that she will be going to lots of interviews and open days at college and also days out watching cooking demonstrations. She said would I have the baby on those days and sometimes when she wants to go shopping!

I'm not sure how to deal with this one what do I do about a contract for example. It seems to me that she will be expecting maybe a days childcare with very short notice here and there , she will make her mind up what she is doing that week and more than likely call me the day before or even on the day !!!

What do you think?

Thanks in advance

[Pauline]

angeldelight said:

What do you think?

I think you are too nice, too soft and are being taken for granted!!

This parent can't expect you to be available whenever the whim takes her.

If she can't give you specific days and times then how about her paying a reasonable amount each week to have you available - say 2 hours per day (or whatever suits you best) - then if she uses you more on that day, then she pays the difference. If she doesn't come then that's up to her but NO refund.

It all depends on how you feel about a call at short notice, if you want to do it that's fine, but if it's going to mess up your week then you must say so.

From what you say it sounds like she wants everything her way but is not prepared to do anything for you - i.e. the retainer issue.

You should start to put yourself first.

What would be the best outcome scenario for you?

[angeldelight]

First of all my husband said he would like me to thank you Pauline! He said hes been telling me for years that im to nice and too soft to these people , its took you all of five minutes to see this also so he said I might listen to your advice because I dont listen to him haha bless !!

You will be pleased to know that I actually did take your advice yes I was being too nice so ive spoke with the parent she was not very happy at all she did expect me to have the baby when she felt like it. I made her take the pushchair and I also gave her an information sheet explaining about about the retainer fee etc etc

If she does not contact me now at least im going to know where I stand

To be honest these parents did mess me about loads what with their time keeping etc so even though im going to miss baby im also going to make the most of actually finishing on time now and not an hour or 2 after my time

Thanks for your advice

[debratina]

Hi
Well done for confronting the parent.
i was going to reply earlier today and say that this parent is taking you for a ride.
in the icp course i did earlier this year the tutors told us that we needed to be ruthless and i know that when i eventually get children to mind that i need to toughen up
anyway well done again
go get em girl x
debra

[angeldelight]

Thanks debra I do actually feel better now all that had been playing on my mind for a while to be honest

Ive been thinking about it a lot this evening and I think ive got the upper hand for once now because if they do come back then im going to make sure that I do not stand for them arriving late for baby etc so this really could have been a good thing them going for a while its made me more confident and even though I felt mean to start with im now happy about it and really really looking forward to finishing my working day at a normal time

Thanks for the support !

[Pauline]

That's really good news

I'm sure in your shoes I would probably have been doing the same until someone pointed out I was being taken for granted!! - it's easy to sit here and see things in a different light and give YOU advice but I know how hard it is when the parent is stood there in front of you. Well done on being so strong.

Perhaps it would be a good idea for some of us older mature minders!! to go on the ICP course and learn some of the new tricks of the trade.

Like Debra says they are taught how to deal with different situations which is great - when we started out it was simply "here's your certificate, get on with it!"

[angeldelight]

Thanks Pauline again

I am a mature child minder as you so kindly put it haha in my early 40s and started child minding over 20 years ago
I actually stopped child minding for about 3 years and then about 3 years decided that I missed it to much and re-registered so I had to go on all the courses etc I was so shocked at how it had all changed so much , like you say years ago you were just left to get on with it , it is so very different these days but I love it I think its fantastic and I even enjoy doing all my paper work.

My point is I that If you have done some of the courses then that is great and they really do help - in my case because I'm soooooo soft it takes a little longer for it to sink in haha It is very hard to change your character with or without a course or with or without advice I'm independent and like to go my own way , for once though I have to admit when everyone told me this parent was taking me for granted it made me see what everyone was saying so its really helped give me that push

The baby left yesterday and was usually due every morning at 7.30 he arrived yesterday at 8.45 ( with no phone call or explanation ) just as I was going out the door for the school run the children were panicked and I was rushing around trying to get him into his pushchair etc so we wouldn't be late.
I did not say anything to the parent there was hardly any point when he was leaving anyway

This morning was great everyone arrived on time we got to school at the correct time and now I'm home waiting for 2 children to arrive at 10
I finish at 5 today and I know for once that is what time I will finish , sometimes the parent was arriving late eg 7pm ( 2hrs late )with no explanation!

Its been a stressful time with this parent but its learnt me some valuable lessons for the future there is just no way I would stand for this from a parent again.
You would think with all the years of experience that I have that I would know all this anyway , but no Ive just never had it happen to me before

We live and learn don't we that everyone is not so nice

But of course the nice parents certainly make up for the ones who are thoughtless otherwise I wouldn't be here in the first place

No doubt I will be coming here for advice again I think this site is fantastic and once again thank you for your help

Gail