I'm really worried

[snowqueen]

I have this 18 month old girl, she is very clumsy on her feet, and has had a few knocks and a few bumps, ones that just cannot be helped, the mother is more concerned that she has had bumps, and that she has not been drinking all day while in my care, i have tried her with different juices, milk, milkshake, and she still wont drink...she text me to say she was concerned about the bumps she has had, so i rang her said i am more concerned that she is not drinking, all she replied was that she drinks at home and she has just drank a full bottle....so i replied a bottle, you don't give me a bottle for her drink to with... she said well i don't give her a bottle all the time...i said well she is not drinking whilst in my care, she replied, well she is not eating at home, i said she is eating here..after that i didn't know what to say....

i don't know what to do and i am a new child minder

[lisaurry]

Hi Snowqueen,

How long have you had this child? Is she still settling in??

I have an 18 mth old, and he is always bumping himself - its very hard to prevent some of their bumps (nee impossible!), but my parent is understanding.

When I first started (march this year), I used to get really worried and upset when they bumped themselves. Now, of course I am concerned, but I'm not so worried. But, if the parent was concerned then I suppose I would feel differently.

How many hours to you have her? She could be dehydrated and thats why she's bumping so much?

She needs to have exactly the same cup / bottle that she uses at home, and the same type of drink. Mom must supply you with these straight away, to make sure that its not just 'different' and she wants the same as home.

At least she's eating with you, thats a good sign.

Don't let Mom knock your confidence, you do know what you're doing. She's obviously not giving you the right information - and she needs to, so that this will work.

Hopefully others will be along soon to give best advice. Good luck and let us know how you get on?

Lisa x

[lisaurry]

Just thought, do you leave her cup available for her to get it herself? If she can see and reach it, she may take it when thirsty?

Lisa x

[angeldelight]

Hi Snowqueen

Poor you

Well my grandson is 19mths and I could not even begin to tell you how many times he falls over - he has ended up at the hospital a few times too and earlier this year ran straight into a wall because he was all over the place - running and could not stop
He had a black eye and cut his head

So there you go it seems very normal to me I have to say

Like Lisa asks how long have you been having this little girl?

Is this the first time the parent has had a childminder ?
Maybe she just notices the bumps etc more than when she is at home ?

Bit unfair of mom to not give you a bottle then wonder why the child is not drinking
I just hate it when parents expect you to be a mind reader

I think you need to have a meeting with this mom - be firm and strong . Just because you are a new child minder it does not mean that you can not have your say
Be nice to mom but just explain that you are concerned about the lack of drinking and that you think she needs to supply a bottle
If she wants the child to have a cup then she must also do this at home
Explain that you need to work together and do the same for it to work

Have you been filling in accident forms for the bumps - I would if I were you to cover yourself at the very least and get mom to sign also

Do the parents have any other children or is it an only child ?

Good luck with this

Angel xx

[snowqueen]

I've only had her a month next thursday...and the girl seems so happy with me, its not as though she cries when mum leaves its the total opposite, she waves and shuts the front door when mum leaves.

I always leave her drink on a low small table for her, and i check it regularly and i know she is not drinking it.

mum has decided she will be better off in a nursery, i dont think she has really thought about it as she has an 8 year old daughter, and we know what schools are like for inset days and half terms.

This seems a bit petty to me, and i have spoke to another childminder and she says thats the girl will have knocks and falls in anursery too, even more so, because there will be more children.

It has knocked my confidence donw a wee bit, but more so because i have a really bad cold today, i was goign to stay in bed, but been stressing about this.

[snowqueen]

angeldelight said:

Hi Snowqueen

Poor you

Well my grandson is 19mths and I could not even begin to tell you how many times he falls over - he has ended up at the hospital a few times too and earlier this year ran straight into a wall because he was all over the place - running and could not stop
He had a black eye and cut his head

So there you go it seems very normal to me I have to say

Like Lisa asks how long have you been having this little girl?

Is this the first time the parent has had a childminder ?
Maybe she just notices the bumps etc more than when she is at home ?

Bit unfair of mom to not give you a bottle then wonder why the child is not drinking
I just hate it when parents expect you to be a mind reader

I think you need to have a meeting with this mom - be firm and strong . Just because you are a new child minder it does not mean that you can not have your say
Be nice to mom but just explain that you are concerned about the lack of drinking and that you think she needs to supply a bottle
If she wants the child to have a cup then she must also do this at home
Explain that you need to work together and do the same for it to work

Have you been filling in accident forms for the bumps - I would if I were you to cover yourself at the very least and get mom to sign also

Do the parents have any other children or is it an only child ?

Good luck with this

Angel xx

This is the first time she has had a childminder.
The worst thing, mum was not concerned about her not drinking, she is more concerned about the bumps.

I have learnt my lesson, as mum is the sister, of my sisters boyfriend. So next time i wont have children that are like inside the family network.

Now i have no kids...im lost.

Also have filed in accident forms;)

[kelly]

Don't feel too downhearted about it, I am sorry you have lost your first child though, out of curiosity, you said she had been with you a month, did the mum give you proper notice?

It goes to show how different people prioritize things, the most important thing to you didn't seem to be so important to Mum, I think you will come across this time and time again.

Hope you find a new little one soon

[snowqueen]

Yes i have told her its 4 weeks written notice, she keps texting me the same question, probably to hope that i wont charge her.

[lorri]

Hi snowqueen

Try not to let it knock your confidence, you are right in what you've said. The bumps are just completely normal for children that age and it is the not taking fluids that's the real problem.

Sounds like she would be better off with you than a nursery as you are more likely to be able to save her from some of the day to day bumps than them plus you will be able to monitor her drinking more easily.

Shame the mum's come to this decision it does seem very silly.

Hope you get some more children to care for soon.

Lorri x

[snowqueen]

Thanks everyone for the support i have really needed it, hopefully i wont have to wait too long to get more kids, otherwise i will have to get a job temporary

[snowqueen]

i need someone to talk to i am sooooooooooo angry

[ajs]

hi snowqueen what's happened

[snowqueen]

Well.........now she has found out she can get her daughter in a nursery starting tomorrow, tbh i am so stressed and said i dont want her as from, today. She has accused me of not giving her healthy food, even tho i give her fruits yoghurts carrot stick, cornish pasties, ect...i have been told she has said this as she has text my sisters boyfriend, as its his sister, so i cant say too much to her, coz ill get my sis into trouble.....but she has text me and said so does that mean the 4 weeks is scrapped which is what she wants so she can put her in to nursery

i feel crap..i helped out out aswell, i didnt charge her for overtime to help her out and this is what i get back
i am soo angry and upset

[raggydolls]

sweety are u paid in advance, if u are, u have had your 4 weeks notice money anyways,

if u are not paid in advance i would make sure u get every penny she owes u - after all u have worked for it, and it is clearly written in your contract,

[snowqueen]

No i didnt take the money in advance..in fact when she was late, i didnt complain i didnt charge her extra, i was nothing more than helpful to her...then throws this in my face

[tasha]

Don't enter into any more dialoge...send her a letter saying it is for weeks written notice, but since she has told you verbally you will accept this which means the contract ends on _date. Include an invoice for this with the letter. Say if as her daughter has an immediate placement in the nursary the you are presuming that she is paying you the for weeks money in lieu of notice as per contract. Acknowledge the fact that you have heard she has been unhappy with the meals you provide & state your surprize...offer her the opportunity to provide a packed lunch instead during the notice period 9if you are to have her daughter). You are legally entittled to this money...just go ultra professional. Good Luck & Chi Up ...it happens to all of us at some point!
Tasha

[snowqueen]

thanks for the advice, but im stupid and have just agreed to ending it now and she just pays me for this week..

[ajs]

this job would be so fantastic if it wasn't for the parents

and ofsted of course

[snowqueen]

lol that put a smile on my face, i feel better now

[tasha]

Your not stupid..we've all done it at some stage...look on the bright side your well rid! & next time make sure your paid in advance & take 2 weeks fees as a deposit which is taken of the last months fees when notice is given. You live & learn.
Tasha

[tasha]

Hey Mandy(ajs)...don't we know it!
Tasha ;D

[snowqueen]

right basically she has been texting me and i said i wont have her no more, so dows a text count or does it have to be on paper, as she is saying that she has signed her into a nursery now

[ajs]

sorry we must have posted at the same time
sometimes even though you're entitiled to the money it's easier to just say sod it and leave it at that.

[tasha]

I've Pm'd you
Tasha

[lorri]

Hi Snowqueen

What a cow this woman is!

To be honest with you I would DEFINITELY put the end of the contract in writing to her because she sounds like she could be a right pain in the bum - make sure you keep a copy of the letter as well for your records.

I think you are well rid! I'm really angry that someone's treated you this way.

Lorri x

[snowqueen]

Yes, well i have learnt my lesson now. Tasha thanks for the advice , you all here a great help to me..really appreciated..in fact i can go to my first aid course with a smile on my face, and i have just had a phone call asking if i want a cleaning job...yipppeeee

[tasha]

Good I'm glad everything seems a little better now!
Tasha

[lisaurry]

Hi Snowqueen,

Sorry to hear all the trouble you've had. To be honest with you, this is the type of parent you are best rid of anyway!

Its nothing you've done, she just sounds like a vindictive person! The child will most certainly have bumps at nursery - probably more as she's not going to get the attention that you can give her. So, Mom's in for a surprise!

An important lesson though, for the future - I think we've all been there at some point - so don't worry.

Good luck, hope things work out for you

Lisa x

[miffy]

Hello snowqueen

Sorry I missed this thread

Sounds like you are well rid of this woman so don't spend any more time thinking about her - you have done nothing wrong and have been more than fair

As mandy said this job would be great if not for the parents and a lot of us have been in similar situations

Chin up and hope you feel better soon

Miffy x

[snowqueen]

Update, she has not paid me this weeks money, and she is going to report me to ofsted as i said she owes me extra time and late payment.