tigger
Junior Member
Posts: 12
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Post by tigger on Nov 2, 2007 19:19:22 GMT
I have taken on an after schooly and am really not sure if it is going to work out. Ever since the beginning of the contract there have been constant arguments with my children, always trying to get one oneupmanship on each other and generally the mood in the house is not a happy one. The mindee also goes to school with my child and is now invading space. Do I persevere or say enough is enough? We are still in the trial period. Any advice would be gratefully received.
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Post by cheryl1 on Nov 2, 2007 19:25:45 GMT
Hi I would suggest thet you have an open discussion with the parents it could be that they are feeling the same. The happyness of your own children has to come first also are you caring for any younger children as it may affect them
cheryl x
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Post by susan on Nov 2, 2007 19:29:48 GMT
hi tigger if you are still in the trial period you should nip it in the bud and speak to mum if there's no joy from mum get out of it now if you really feel that it wont work out. Maybe your son and mindee been in school class together and then after schhol is too mch if they dont get on or like each other. Not sure what advice everyone else will give you but thats what i'd do, hope it helps
Susan xxx
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Post by monkey1 on Nov 2, 2007 20:18:48 GMT
Hi Tigger, Been there done that, would't advise it! I did it with my eldest and that turned out to be a nightmare so i ended it. Also agreed to have one of my Daughters friends and thought it would be fine as they got on so well. Big mistake! They are now sworn enemies and this little girl never seems to miss an opportunity to upset my daughter by saying "your mums a rubbish childminder anyway and non of the kids like her" My daughter gets really upset...and so do my other mindees that attend the school. And don't get me started on how her mother took the news when i ended the contract.....i could probably sue her for defermation of character! i would cut your loses now, your childs happiness is paramount Monkey
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Post by angeldelight on Nov 2, 2007 22:06:38 GMT
Hello
How old are all the children ? Do they get on at school ?
Is it all the children ? Or is it this child or do your children feel threatened by him
Have you had children the same age before ?
Are your children used to other children around
Sorry for all the questions it just builds a better picture
Angel xx
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Post by sarsar3nch on Nov 3, 2007 9:58:46 GMT
Sometimes the children can be too close (school and your home together) and they do start to invade each other's space, some will get on really well but others certainly do not. I had same prob and ended contract as no-one was particularly happy and I felt I had to look out for my kids too.
They are all happy at school again now.
Sarah x
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Post by sarsar3nch on Nov 3, 2007 10:01:34 GMT
Although following my above comment, my own kids aren't too good at accepting kids of similar age into their home, they are much happier with younger ones. Possibly they feel threatened, not really sure. But I have worked out that if they are happy (through a bit of comprimise), life is better for everyone.
Sarah x
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Post by cheryl1 on Nov 3, 2007 11:29:15 GMT
my own kids aren't too good at accepting kids of similar age into their home, they are much happier with younger ones. Possibly they feel threatened, not really sure. But I have worked out that if they are happy (through a bit of comprimise), life is better for everyone.
Sounds just like my house Sarah x
Cheryl XX
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Post by lisaurry on Nov 3, 2007 21:50:34 GMT
Hi Tigger,
I know this isn't going to help, but I waited until my kids were older because I knew I would have had jelousy issues with them. They are now 14 and 16 - but I still have 'green' eyes sometimes even now!
I had one of my daughters best friends Mom (mouthful!), ask me to look after her little one, but I declined because I thought it may cause problems. I just told her that I didn't have any spaces.
How old are the children you mention?
Good luck, Lisa x
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Post by sarahnev707 on Nov 3, 2007 22:11:49 GMT
You must put your family first - without their support you'll never be happy in your work..... I know this from bitter experience! Sarahx
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Post by smartimartie on Nov 3, 2007 22:26:11 GMT
I only have downstairs registered so that my own children can ...escape... if they need to.
I think you need to sit down with your children and explain how you are feeling and ask them how they feel about what is happening. You may find that they are unaware that you are at the end of your tether or they may unanimously support the idea of giving this child notice. I do this sat at the dinningroom table with a pot of sweets... it helps keep their attention if they get a sweet each time they make a contribution or make a relevant comment!
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tigger
Junior Member
Posts: 12
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Post by tigger on Nov 4, 2007 15:18:27 GMT
Hi there thanks for your replies. My children are Girl 9 and Boy 3 yrs. I don't think my daughter ever saw the mindee at school before but now she has had her space at school taken over by this child aswell, wanting be involved and want to know everything to do with her and I don't think my daughter likes this. My children are used to having other children around and I'm sure they don't feel threatened by this child, but this is the first time I have had this age group and I thought it would be nice to have someone close to my daughters age . I have sat all of the children around the table and explained that we all have to get along and that we should respect each other and not be nasty. Also if it keeps on I will have to inform the parent and have some conversations with my own children. I think I'm going to play it by ear and see how next few days shape up. Thanks for all you advice it has really helped me think about a few things.
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Post by miffy on Nov 4, 2007 20:59:10 GMT
Hiya - just catching up
I think you should put the child's parents in the picture and try and get them onside
You have a better chance of sorting this if everyone works together
At the end of the day though your own children must come first and they need to know that
Good luck
Miffy
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tigger
Junior Member
Posts: 12
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Post by tigger on Nov 11, 2007 9:19:10 GMT
Morning everyone. I think we may have turned a corner, not wanting to fate it but by Friday everyone was playing together nicely. I hope that this is the shape of of things to come and not lulling me into a false sense of security. Thank you for all your advice.
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Post by sarsar3nch on Nov 12, 2007 17:33:54 GMT
Good to hear things are better, keep us informed
Sarah
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Post by angeldelight on Nov 12, 2007 18:03:35 GMT
That is great to hear
It does sometimes take a while sometimes for them all to settle down
Hope it continues
Angel xx
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Post by vik3000 on Nov 12, 2007 18:21:19 GMT
Fingers crossed that it has all settled down.
I mind a child who my son goes to school with - they are the same year but in opposite classes so they don't spend the whole day together.
They generally get on great but I can tell when they have spent too much time together such as towards the end of holiday times etc. They are a good influence on each other too - my son lightens the minded child up and the mindee helps my son take his studies a bit more seriously. I have been very lucky. The problem came when I minded another child who was a year older than them, didn't want to be here anyway and was very "bossy" with them.
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Post by sarsar3nch on Nov 12, 2007 18:27:36 GMT
I find kids do get to an age where they do feel too old to be with a childminder, can get very tricky.
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