Soft mum

[sarsar3nch]

I look after a 3 yr old who goes to playschool 3 sessions a week, twice mum takes and picks up but on Fri I take and pick up (and therefore charge). However on 3 occassions so far this term he has asked mum before I pick him up if he can stay with me rather than go to playschool and she has said yes!

I feel unable to argue as I am charging for time anyway, and so haven't filled space.

She has often said, in front of him, 'if you feel tired tell sarah and you can stay with her'. I think giving 3yr old this kind of choice is madness.

She sees him very much as a baby still (bottles through night and day, nappies etc) and can't face him going to playschool more than 2 sessions even though he is funded for 5.

Any ideas on how to tackle situation?

[tasha]

I would just have a word with Mum & explain that on the odd occassion it doesn't matter, but regularly not knowing where he is going to be is making things very difficult for you regarding planning...blah, blah. You might also want to address the bottles...teeth & nappies... at the same time?!
Tasha

[angeldelight]

Hi Sarah

What a pain

Why not just the child stay with you then if she is not keen on playschool for him ?

This is just confusing the child and messing you around

Say if you want to go out one day but can not because he wants to stay with you - I know they have paid but it is still unfair you not knowing where you stand

I would have a friendly chat with mom

With regards to bottles you could ask if she tried to get him to have a cup - or if you have one keep trying him with it during the day and tell her that he has been a good boy and loves using it maybe she will take the hint

One step at a time though

Get this sorted about playschool

Then bottles

Then nappies

Looks like you are going to be busy haha

Let us know what she says

Angel xx

[mel]

Just wanted to say that I agree with everything that has been said and wanted to wish you lots of luck with these issues!

Mel x

[sarsar3nch]

Thanks for advice, I have this week off but will tackle playschool issue with mum next week.

Re bottles, he doen't have them with me because he is happy to be a big boy with me and other kids around, it is just at home because he can get away with it.But more for mum than child I think?

Will let you know...............................

Sarah

[rubybubbles]

sarsar3nch said:

Thanks for advice, I have this week off but will tackle playschool issue with mum next week.

Re bottles, he doen't have them with me because he is happy to be a big boy with me and other kids around, it is just at home because he can get away with it.But more for mum than child I think?

Will let you know...............................

Sarah

It's funny how many times I've had oh no dummies, bottles blankets ect that are needed here, but as soon as mum/dad appear they get them from the bag to give to them!! Poor kid must be dead confused.

[sarsar3nch]

Just an update

Decided to talk to playschool leader, turns out she has concerns of her own about attendance, dummies in playschool and how he is playing mum and dad a merry dance.

She feels strongly that he needs to attend to get ready for school next Sept as he is far from ready at the moment and getting worse now he realises strings he can pull.

Anyway she is going to get it sorted out from her end (talk to mum) and make suggestions about helping child to become more independant as she was surprised when I told her about how much more capeable he is when at my house.

I feel quite relieved as I think family needs some guidance and I find it hard to approach, but if asked directly I feel I can help

[sarahnev707]

I am so impressed you were able to talk to the playschool and be respected and listened to by them..... that is a real indication of what it should be like in the EYFS when we are all working together with other professionals... not sure it's widespread yet though!

Great you're getting the little one sorted as well

Sarahx

[ajs]

well done for talking to the school and well done for them talking to you too.
i had a problem with a little girl she was always dribbling and snotty and had an awful temper and her behaviour was atrocious ( i thought she may have a hearing problem) so i tried to talk to her nursery teracher one afternoon but she just blocked me and said if i have any concerns re child then i should speak to mum, i told her i was only trying to build up an all round picture and if problems were only just with me then ok but she wouldn't discuss anything at all.
maybe now eyfs is coming in then she would have to talk to me.

[susi513]

AJS You may need the parent to tell/give written permission for them to discuss with you. However well intentioned you were, they need to make sure they aren't going against parents wishes. Some parents might take offence and feel they are being left out of the loop and think you're going "behind their back" so to speak. I've also met parents who believe some childminders do nothing but gossip about the children in their care & the private business of their families.

Unfortunately, even with permission from parents, some staff just don't view childminders as an appropriate person to speak to. Not necessarily having a dim view of childminders but perhaps feeling that the parent is the only person they should communicate with and they wouldn't speak to grandparent, aunt or anyone else collecting the child either.

Sarsa3nch, I'm pleased you had a positive response at preschool.

[vik3000]

susi513 said:

AJS You may need the parent to tell/give written permission for them to discuss with you. However well intentioned you were, they need to make sure they aren't going against parents wishes. Some parents might take offence and feel they are being left out of the loop and think you're going "behind their back" so to speak. I've also met parents who believe some childminders do nothing but gossip about the children in their care & the private business of their families.

Unfortunately, even with permission from parents, some staff just don't view childminders as an appropriate person to speak to. Not necessarily having a dim view of childminders but perhaps feeling that the parent is the only person they should communicate with and they wouldn't speak to grandparent, aunt or anyone else collecting the child either.

Sarsa3nch, I'm pleased you had a positive response at preschool.

What you have just said is exactly what (little) was said during our EYFS awareness - the schools will HAVE to interact with childminders and all carers of the children. I throughly agree though about having parental permission to do so though.
By keeping our observations and records we should build up a professional picture that we can use in our professional discussions that may become necessary.