jealousy?

[queenie]

I just wondered if anyone else had had any problems with your own children and minded children? Just recently I have been having problems with my own children complaining about minded children getting their own way etc! I have tried to involve everyone together but this is proving difficult as someone doesnt want to join in! Im starting to dread half term week, trying to please everyone. Even hubbys started to complain about kids being here till 6.30pm. I just dont know if its worth carrying on. I love my job but not if it upsets my family!! Your views would be helpful. x

[cheryl1]

Yes , I've had that problem.

' i'm sick of the childminding kids !'
' why can't we have a normal house'

and lots more

well my reply is that if I don't do this job that I will have to go out to work and they would see a lot less of me also I wouldn't be able to go to all their school productions etc, also if I don't work ther will be no money for holidays, treats etc. sometimes this calms them other times it does'nt - nobody ever said life was easy !!!

Cheryl x

[vik3000]

i think its worth while looking at if you have the same rules for your children and the minded children.

I came up with rules (with the help of all the kids) that we are all to stick to when I am working. That way we are all dancing to the same tune and no ones nose is out of joint. My kids understand that for a certain period of time the house is the work space and then after that we revert back to family time - which is generally the same rules.

I explain to the kids that because I am working there are certain rules that by law i HAVE to follow.

Its hard but I try to treat the minded kids same as mine and vice versa. If I have minded kids "out of hours" - they are here just to play or for tea then we revert back to perhaps more general relaxed rules but other than that we all tick along quite nicely.

[tasha]

I'm the same as Vik
Tasha

[mum26]

I think I find this one of the hardest problems- trying to please everyone all the time! I have 4 children of my own at home - 3, 8, 13 and 16 and they all have their various moans about childminding.

My youngest child seems to enjoy the children attending and always asks who is going to be with us today and gets very excited. However, unfortunately, she will also push the children I care for at times and not be too pleasant (although she is the same with her siblings). This is something I am working on-I think she finds it hard sharing me and everything else. My 8 year old also enjoys me childminding most of the time and would hate for me to have to go out to work, but will also complain that I put the childminding children first (which is not true!). My 13 year old can be a real help when she is in the right frame of mind, however she is a teenager so that is not too often. Mmm my 16 year old would probably prefer that I went out to work so that she could be surrogate mum and boss the younger ones around and have the computer to herself-that reeeaallllly wouldn't work.

Must admit I am finding childminding particularly difficult at the moment as I have a baby of 8 months to care for who cries sooo much. I have had her since May and I keep hoping things will get better. She is fine all the time she is being held but as soon as I put her down cries. She has also now taken a dislike to my husband and cries every time she sees him, which, as he works shifts, can be most afternoons!! Think I need to make a separate post for this-sorry have gone off-track.

Anyway, back to the original question, yes I definitely do have problems with my own children and minded children!!!

[charleyfarley]

I haven't come across this problem in my 8 years of minding.

Infact I think it helped

I stopped minding after Charley was born as we also moved house. Charley was very clingy from 6 months, then when I started minding again she got so much better. Think it was coz she had to share me.

The only thing I find is Charley not wanting to share her toys which is fine as I tell anything she doesn't want others to play with she takes upstairs where minded children aren't allowed.

Mitchell's too young to moan he just screams at everyone if they've got his things

I think hubby minds the children being here so late some times but it's my job and he knows not to man about

Carol xx

[tasha]

I would like to add that there are pros & cons to every job where family is concerned! You need to work out if childminding has more pros/cons to an alternative that you could do.
Tasha

[sarahnev707]

I still have to remind my children sometimes (they are 14 and 12) that they will have me all to themselves in the evening - so if they can please just wait an hour.......!

It's a juggling act, but I know they prefer me here to being out to work - you just have to repeat yourself sometimes - if I go to work you go to a childminder - is that what you want? etc.....

Sarahx

[banana]

My 2 year old asks why we have to have children come to our house all the time and complains about it.

Its difficult because she really doesnt want them to come sometimes. But this morning she asked if her friends had to come today and I said no we have a day off and she got really excited and we've just sat and cuddled on the sofa this morning.

I think as long as when you get some alone time with your own children on days off and spend the day making a fuss of them it makes it easier on them.

But yes,,, the jealousy can sometimes be very difficult!

x

[sandra79]

I am not a childminder just yet - in the process of it all at the moment. But I do look after my niece and nephew after school some days and in the school holidays, they are 10 and 12 years old. My 2 get on well with their cousins but they do like time on their own and some days my son, who is 8 says, "Do they have to come round again tomorrow, I am getting fed up with them, now." When they are round the next day everything is fine, but you can tell, some days, that my two would like some peace and quiet to play and do what they want on their own.
Then I get my husband coming home from a hard day at work digging up roads and laying pipes, etc to find that my niece and neph haven't gone home just yet and he can't relax properly and have a bath, etc until they have gone. Sometimes if he has a day off when they are round, he has once said to me " Them 2 are a pain in the backside." I know he love them like I do, but I do understand how he feels.
But he is really behind me 100% with me registering as a childminder and my kids say they can't wait to have some little ones to play with, etc., and it leaves me kind of confused!!!
But I look at it this way - If I was to not childmind I would have to find a job where I would be out of the house 40 hours a week, with no housework done, no tea cooked for them all and my kids would have to go to childminders themselves, which I am sure they would not prefer.
I like to think that it is nice that my kids can come home to a warm house and hubby can come home to a clean house with a cooked meal on the table, even if he has to fight off a few kids when he walks through the door!! heheh.
I think all men and kids have a little moan, but if they thought about it, I think they would prefer us to childmind.
XXXXX Sandra

[custardcream]

I can honestly say i have never had this problem. My children are now 15 & 12 and i have been minding since my eldest was 1.
I think having others around them has helped make them into the caring and considerate young people that they are.(I am probably biased). They always understood that if they didnt want anything shared with others then it stayed in their rooms and they have also made some good freinds along the way.
I think like the others have said, there are pros & cons to every job, you just have to weigh them up.

[rubybubbles]

My dd shows jealously!!! When she was 16 months she tried to bite and scratch my 6 month mindie. I've just changed children and she is very cuddley and yesturday pushed over the 2 yr old out of the blue But this is why we do behaviour managment lol I think at least it's with her not a mindie as I don't like having to tell them off (where as my own children ...............mwahhhh) (joking teehee) I think it's normal behaviour what everr the age, my Brother was born when I was 13 I was evil