Hi need parent help

[helen29]

I am working for one family currently and have been for nearly two years. I am having issues with the parents mainly mum as she drops them off in the morn. My problem is that she brings both her 2 1/2 year old and 1 year old with crisps in their hand at 7.20am in the morn. I have discussed this with her and she said it was due to pester power and it stopped the oldest started coming with fruit. It has now started again with the crisps and i personally don't agree with this at all as it is not good for them. I also have issues with the cleanliness of the children as often they will come on dirty clothes and are unwashed for a week at times. My cdo suggested keeping a record and i am doing this but feel as the crisps situation has started again i need to be more blunt about it, i am not very good at confronting her about problems and really work my self up about doing it so if anyone could give any help please do.

[sarahnev707]

As soon as the mother has gone, take the crisps away and sit them both down for a drink of water and a slice of toast each - that's what I do when they come with sweets, crisps or lollies glued to their mouths. Just take the bags out of their hands with a firm 'thank you' and a smile! It costs you about 5p and means they've been offered something decent in the morning

Equally some families don't rate personal hygiene as highly as others - a difficult one, but if the children are generally well enough cared for, I very much doubt social services will want to get involved - though if you've got health visitors in the area, you might be able to get advice there. Trouble is, if the parent refuses their help, there is nothing they can do! An appalling system, but unfortunately it has to get really bad first

Sarahx

[lorri]

Hi Helen

I would feel the same as you, children can't eat crisps for breakfast! I only give my son crisps occasionally anyway and they are always ones produced for his age so they are healthier (still not healthy though!).

Is the family going through any problems at the moment like a split up or something as it might be that the mum is not coping too well at the moment so she's attempting to avoid stress by giving in and no baths, etc.?

I'm sorry I don't have any advice other than to talk to mum about it again, say it's causing problems with the other children to see her two eating crips for breakfast and again that you are concerned with the effect on their health and refer her to your healthy eating policy.

Could she give them a packet of cereal to munch on instead? The individual ones maybe? They might be fooled and it's a lot healthier?

Don't know what to say about the cleanliness though other than to log it all down for the time being.

Lorri x

[emloujar]

This is tricky because do we have the right to tell them what she can feed her child. I agree totally with you i think it is wrong . I think the others are right take them off child when shes gone. I feel sorry for you what a horrable postion we all do this job because we care about the children. Good luck in talking to her hope it goes well. It is a shame they are not older you could educate them in healthy eating so they can educate her.

[angeldelight]

Hi Helen

I used to have a parent that sent her 10 year old with crisps and a bottle of coke at 7am - that was breakfast

I did what the others suggested and just took them off her when she arrived
I then did her breakfast
I gave the crisps and drink back at home time and said to the mom I gave her breakfast - I did not say anything else
She continued to do it though but I just gave them back in the evening
She did stop in the end

Very difficult if they are coming to you in dirty clothes and like Sarah said social services are not really interested in that if they are being well cared for

It is just the way some parents are unfortunately

Good luck

Angel xx

[rubybubbles]

oh feeling for you!

I've not had the food thing, more the fact, they haven't had any breakfast then whisk away!! (I have since changed mindies!!)

Dummies, and comforts dragging behind them! I just put then in their bag, let them have back for sleep- without them asking all day, parents come back - straight back into bag, dummy and blanket -arrhhhh

banging my head on wall icon!!

[rainbowmum]

Here you go Rubybubbles

I agree about taking them away and giving some toast, i would perhaps do a newsletter saying I will be covering a healthy eating theme & could parents help by ensuring children have had a healthy start to the day?

[rubybubbles]

rainbowmum said:

Here you go Rubybubbles

I agree about taking them away and giving some toast, i would perhaps do a newsletter saying I will be covering a healthy eating theme & could parents help by ensuring children have had a healthy start to the day?

haha thanks

[banana]

I agree with the above comments,

take them away and exchange for something more substantial for breakfast.

good luck!


xxx

[sarsar3nch]

I agree with Rubybubbles on the whole comforter thing, I have the same issues


Very frustrating!!!!!

Sarah