need a bit of advice

[lau83]

:(heres the situation ive had a little boy since he was 8 months he is now nearly 16 months he was fine he now is now crying everytime i leave the room get a drink go to the toilet etc and just crying constant i had 20 mins yesterday where he dident cry he cyed all the way to school this morn which then starts all the others off so2 babys crying isent gd especially not at 8 oclock in the morn i had a new baby start yesterday everytime i pick her up he threws himself on the floor then ive spoke to the mum and she doesent realy say much what would u all do thanks if you can help

[theresa]

oh crikey sounds like a right nightmare time for you, i'm afraid i don't have any advice but i do have a hug for you and hopefully angel etc will have some fab advice for you


xx

[angeldelight]

Sorry to hear you are having lots of problems

It is difficult when a once good baby starts to cry
It might just be a stage he is going through

I know my grandson would go to anyone then all of a sudden only his " dad " would do he would not even go to his mom without screaming

Did he used to be the only baby when he was younger that you minded ? Maybe he is used to having all of your attention?
Maybe he is now a little jealous of the other children?

What is he like with his parents is he the same ? Maybe that would help if you know the answers ?

Lots of hugs , lots of talking to him , lots of involving him with the other children etc etc

What do you do with him when you leave the room - is he sitting in a chair or something ? Make sure you make him comfortable with some different toys when you pop into the kitchen for a drink

Sorry not much help

Keep us posted on the situation

Angel xx

[lau83]

he was fine to begin with but this has been ging on for months now i dont want to go anywhere as he just screems constant i feel for the days i got him im house bound as its not fair for everyone else to listen to him my little boy is now begining to suffer and crys when he crys no hes not likew it with his parents he was the younger one but he is used to not being the only one im now not enjoying the job as its just all the time it might sound silly but i just cant do anything i was even thinking of giving notice ive tryed talking hugs etc but he just doesent want to no

[sarahnev707]

Sounds like you are having a nightmare! I would definately re-assess the mix of children at this stage Lau - think about the needs of all the children - and what would happen if an Ofsted inspector walked in your house tomorrow....

Would she see the needs of all the children being met? Would she think the little one was happy in your care? - not your fault some children just don't settle well in certain settings. Would she say it's ok not to go out because of one child's behaviour?

I would have a chat with the child's mum and make it clear this situation cannot go on - you are not meeting the needs of either her child or the others in your care....(again, not your fault but circumstances change and this child is obviously distressed, therefore not happy, therefore not thriving etc), put a time limit on it (that'll make you feel better) and see how it goes

Good luck!

Sarahx

[sarsar3nch]

Good advice Sarah, I wholeheartedly agree with putting a time limit on it. I had a similar child and kept persevering but it took well over a year and when child was happy here and in other social situations such as toddler groups mum decided he was ready for nursery!!

Looking back it had been really hard on other children and on myself

Sometimes you have to take an objective, overall view of your situation.

Hope you get it sorted xx

[lau83]

Thanx for the advice im going to think about this some more its very hard situation once again thankyou

[son77]

Sounds a bit like the baby I look after at the mo!

She's always been a bit grumpy but seems to be getting worse, she cries in the car, cries in the pushchair, cries if left to play on her own (with me in room too), cries when I leave the room, cries when I try to prepare dinner, only time she doesn't cry is when she's asleep!

Now because of 'other reasons' (not because of crying) I have given notice to parents to end contract and god do I feel good!!

I love this little girl to bits, but now I realise exactly how much it was affecting me & my family. I was really getting down, didnt realise that it was because of this child until I gave notice & now I feel so much better.

I am due an inspection soon and was worried how I would cope with this child when the inspector was here, well now hopefully she will of left before then.

Go with your gut instinct with what to do, I wish I had done it earlier. xx

[angeldelight]

Did not realise this had been going on for months

Poor you it does sound like a nightmare

I had this a few mths ago and it was affecting not just the children but myself too it was very stressful so I do know how you feel

I did speak to mom but got zero support

In the end I had to end the contract - it was sad to do but it really did make life much easier at the end of it

You have to do what is best for the other children and YOURSELF

Good luck

Angel xx

[lesia]

I am finding myself in a similar kind of situation at the moment. Not a crying baby, but a situation that is making me and my family quite stressed.

The only difference here is that the problem i have got is my own son!!!!!!

He is nearly 4 and his behaviour over the last 4-6 months has been unbearable. It's like living with a 16 year old!!

I have had a boy of the same age in my care since Feb. I have him four days a week during term time after nursery. Him and my son go to the same nursery. I recently went to the parents evening there and the teacher said she has had to split them up at snack times and quiet times just to give them a break from each other.

The problem could be that they are just spending too much time together and have more of a brotherly relationship than just friends. But I have an older son who is 5 and I only want him to be his brothers brother!! (Don't know if that makes sense to anyone!)

His behaviour can be impeccable in the morning, from getting himself dressed and helping me to clean the breakfast table etc.
But then it's like a time bomb has just exploded and he can turn into the devil's child within seconds.

He answers back, he deliberately calls the other boy names(not nasty names, he shortens his name ie. dan or daz) but he knows that the other boy doesn't like it and every time he does it the other boy comes and tells me. I've told my son to think about what he is saying and that the boy doesn't like it and he's hurting his feelings but this just seems to give him more ammo. I've told the boy to ignore him but that doesn't work 'cos my son is just so in your face and it's like he's waiting for the reaction.

He hits, he kicks and he mainly does this when i step out of the room to go to the toilet or make a drink and then the boy will come and tell me what he's done.

He takes everything the other boy picks up off him and either hides it or starts playing with it himself and then when the boy gets something else, my son will take that too.

Please help somebody, i need some advice on how to calm my son down and put a stop to his aggressive behaviour.

He isn't just like this when the boy is here he can be like this at weekends when its just the family or when it's just me and him.

It doesn't seem to bother him if he gets put in his room, or if he's told he can't have something. Nothing is working I've even done the reward chart in fact he has two one for him and his brother and one for him and the boy.

I am at my wits end and I really need some advice.

Lesh x

[mum26]

Hi,

I seem to have a bit of both problems.

I have a crying baby and it is really getting me down-not my own thank goodness! The mum is very nice, however I think she carries the baby around all the time. Baby is so happy and full of smiles for people-as long as she is being carried or given specific one-to-one attention. The baby has now taken an aversion to my husband-well it seems to me all males-as another man spoke to her yesterday and she cried! Spoke to mum about it and she said 'but she loves men'. I will persevere as I am hoping she will be happier when she is mobile but it is such hard work.

My own daughter, who is 3, is also sometimes not that brilliant with the children I care for. This started before I cared for baby so it isn't connected-her only saving grace is she absolutely adores young babies.

She will push and hit and take toys away from children. I do find that if I am very closely supervising/playing then she will play nicely but of course I do have to prepare lunches, go to the toilet etc. I try to be as organised as possible but there are still times that I need to move from one room to another. I am going to try out a star/reward chart for her and work on praising her good behaviour. I am hoping that she will grow out of this, as sometimes her speech isn't that good and maybe that could be a factor.

It does seem to be only happening at home, as when I take her to toddlers she behaves well and when she is at pre-school they do not seem to have a problem with her-hopefully that will continue.